Yes, Introverts And Extroverts Can Be Good Friends Here’s How

As a result, you may find yourself in situations in life where you make meaningful friendships or relationships more easily than others do. We find comfort in the idea that we’re naturally better friends than extroverts, but it’s this line of thought that keeps us from actually being good friends. It’s not controversial to say that when it comes to making and keeping friends, introverts can struggle. A psychologist named Carl Jung began using the terms introvert and extrovert (sometimes spelled extravert) in the 1920s. These two personality types sort people into how they get or spend their energy. Introverts, Jung said, turn to their own minds to recharge, while extroverts seek out other people for their energy needs.

Causes Of Introversion

Finally, if you want to identify YOUR personality type, then take one of these 11 personality tests to better understand what makes you tick. It’s time to start asking questions and taking the lead now and again, instead of always answering and following (#Sheeple). Direct the conversation to topics you find interesting – it can be as simple as your new friend’s day or more soul-searching and philosophical like dreams, hopes, and life. Plus, you can only have real, deep friendships when you are unequivocally yourself. If you are into hiking, join a hiking club and make friends there. If you love art, find a local or virtual class and connect with like-minded people.

Introverts don’t make friends easily or at all because it’s hard for people to get to know them. Introverts also prefer to focus inward toward their feelings, thoughts, and ideas than what’s happening outside of them. All the extroverts make it seem so easy to make and have friends.

However, unexpected visitors do not sit well with us introverts. Generally speaking, we need advanced notice to mentally prepare to chat and be with people. And, to us, our home is our refuge away from the noisy world, a private space where we can let down our guard and relax.

They prefer focussing on their own inner thoughts and ideas rather than reacting to external stimuli. They prefer calm situations and environments and may have a tendency to avoid large social gatherings. People who are shy tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they’re in social situations, especially when they’re around strangers. Their heart may beat quicker, and they may get a stomachache. They may be inclined to skip social events because they don’t like the negative feelings that take over their thoughts and bodies when they have to go to parties or other activities. I panicked when I realized that I’m in my 20s and I don’t have any real friends left.

If there’s a short pause in a conversation, I’m learning to not take it personally. I allow the silence to wash over me and use that time to be alone with my thoughts. Conversations can be exhausting for an introvert, so it’s completely fine to sit in silence for a while. It also gives us time to think, which is one of our introvert superpowers. The first step I’m taking is engaging in conversations with strangers online and via Bumble BFF, a dating app that has a making-a-BFF section.

A Field Guide To Making Friends As An Introvert (everything You Need To Know)

While being introverted and friendly can be a wonderful trait, there can be downsides as well. Introverts may struggle with social anxiety or feeling overwhelmed in large groups, and may need more alone time than their more extroverted peers. Introverts tend to usually have strong listening skills which helps them make better connections with other people.

Most introverts, if they were to hang out with other people, prefer to go along the desires of the group or the other person. They will rarely plead the things they prefer and will instead go with the decision of the majority. A lot of introverts see this as a way of experience things they otherwise would never try themselves. In short, introverts may seem reserved at first, but their inward-focused nature actually allows them to be thoughtful, devoted companions once connected with someone. Once comfortable with someone, introverts feel devoted and provide stalwart support through ups and downs.

They spend a lot of time in their thoughts and tend to have creative imaginations. Being an introvert isn’t an all-or-nothing stamp on your personality. Psychologists think of introverts as falling somewhere on a scale. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons why I struggle to make friends is because I’m a homebody.

So it was validating to hear from Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of The Introverted Leader, that I wasn’t alone. My name is Emily, I’m passionate about helping introverts find the resources and support they need to embrace their introverted side and feel confident in their own skin. First off, it’s helpful to recognize when conversations are draining or overwhelming your energy levels. When this happens, it’s okay to politely excuse yourself from the conversation or take a break from interacting.

Become more self-aware with these 11 steps so you can become mindful about whether you actually want friends versus feeling like you should have some and what type of friendships will suit your life. Introverts make excellent friends – with other fellow introverts or extroverts (who take the time to understand us). A person who identifies as an introvert exhibits introversion characteristics. What essentially defines an introvert (and distinguishes these people from extroverts) is how they get and spend energy (or process the world).

Extroverts are more talkative, outgoing, energetic, and very into socializing. The introvert hangover is real, so don’t expect us introverts to party as long as you do (if we party at all). Tell us about your existential crisis over the fact that you’re getting older and your life isn’t where you thought it would be. We’d rather know what’s going on inside you — what’s really going on — than see the polished, “social media friendly” front that everyone displays in public. Introverts really value their personal space and privacy, so it’s important to respect their boundaries. This means not showing up unannounced at their home and not bringing surprise guests along without letting them know in advance.

Another example is if an introvert like me was on the phone all day for work, and you call; I’ll likely text you back instead. Or (pre-pandemic) I may prefer to eat my lunch in my car; in pandemic times, I’ll eat in my bedroom instead of interacting with others. Without this separation, we introverts are prone to irritability.

If we drift off, or need a few extra beats to think, don’t slap us with, “Helloooooo come back to Earth! ” These kinds of phrases will make us feel self-conscious and less likely to open up in the future. It has taken me a lot of time and effort to learn how to balance my need for solitude with my desire to connect with others.

• This gives you the chance to still connect with people without having to worry about physical contact or long conversations that may leave you feeling exhausted.
• This focus helps build loyal and lasting friendships that stand the test of time, even if life gets busy or texts go unanswered.
• This can help you feel less overstimulated, and instead, more purposeful.
• Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert all depends on how you process the world around you.

This suggests that there is a difference between introversion and shyness, even though they are often confused. So, before we move on, let’s talk about something important. It’s important to recognize that shyness and introversion are NOT the same thing – because even though I may be a huge fan of socializing, I’m still an introvert at heart.

If you have these issues with your friend, talk about it, Kahnweiler says. Kahnweiler, who trains leaders, teams and organizations on how to help introverts thrive in an extroverted world, shares tips on how both personalities can get along. Being an introvert can sometimes be a bit challenging, especially when you want to interact with others but have no idea how to.

Don’t just wait for invitations to come your way—make them yourself. Part of being more extroverted, Morin says, is taking initiative rather than hanging back and letting others set the tone. Ask a friend to join you for a walk on a slow Sunday. Organize that Friendsgiving potluck instead of hoping someone else will. Every time you initiate, you get more comfortable taking social risks, and eventually, you’ll notice how often that little moment of courage pays off.

Attend a concert of a band you love or one you’re curious about. Let the shared experience of enjoying live music create instant bonds with those around you. Strike up talks https://thecharmerly.com/sign-up-and-login-guide/ with fellow concertgoers; you might find more in common than just musical taste. The high energy and excitement of a concert can also make social interactions feel more relaxed and spontaneous. It’s important to know that being introverted is not the same as having social anxiety. Social anxiety is not related to temperament and is instead a common, treatable mental health condition that some people overlook.

We supposedly desire kindred spirits, and yet we often push people away by not reaching out or failing to communicate our needs honestly. From their perspective, we’re the friend that they always invite, who always says no. Every now and then, try instead to focus on what others might need from you. Maybe you’ll notice that there’s another introvert who’s been getting left out—approach them and make them feel interesting. This can help you feel less overstimulated, and instead, more purposeful.